Photo 4102
Notes
Posted 6 days ago
animalstalkinginallcaps: MS. HANSEN? Oh my god, what are you? What are you? You are so cute. I’M DOGTOR BUTTONS, CHIEF CARDIOLOGIST. I’M SORRY, MS. HANSEN, BUT WE WERE UNABLE TO SAVE YOUR MOTHER. WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD.  Oh. Okay. That’s fine. You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Look at you. Just look at you. YES, JUST LOOK AT ME. I THINK THAT’S BEST. THERE ARE SOME FORMS WE’D LIKE YOU TO FILL OUT, IF YOU DON’T MIND. WE USED TO RECOMMEND GRIEF COUNSELORS BUT NOWADAYS WE BASICALLY JUST HAVE PEOPLE PLAY WITH MY EARS FOR TEN MINUTES. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? Oh my god yes. I love you. I love you so much. I KNOW YOU DO, MS. HANSEN. I LOVE YOU TOO.  ATKINS, YOU CAN PUT ME DOWN NOW. TELL SUSAN TO BRING THE ORGAN PROCUREMENT FORMS AND COME GET ME WHEN MRS. MITCHELL IS PREPPED FOR THAT BYPASS.  Zoom

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MS. HANSEN?

Oh my god, what are you? What are you? You are so cute.

I’M DOGTOR BUTTONS, CHIEF CARDIOLOGIST. I’M SORRY, MS. HANSEN, BUT WE WERE UNABLE TO SAVE YOUR MOTHER. WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD. 

Oh. Okay. That’s fine. You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Look at you. Just look at you.

YES, JUST LOOK AT ME. I THINK THAT’S BEST. THERE ARE SOME FORMS WE’D LIKE YOU TO FILL OUT, IF YOU DON’T MIND. WE USED TO RECOMMEND GRIEF COUNSELORS BUT NOWADAYS WE BASICALLY JUST HAVE PEOPLE PLAY WITH MY EARS FOR TEN MINUTES. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

Oh my god yes. I love you. I love you so much.

I KNOW YOU DO, MS. HANSEN. I LOVE YOU TOO. 

ATKINS, YOU CAN PUT ME DOWN NOW. TELL SUSAN TO BRING THE ORGAN PROCUREMENT FORMS AND COME GET ME WHEN MRS. MITCHELL IS PREPPED FOR THAT BYPASS. 

via animalstalkinginallcaps
Photo 12
Notes
Posted 6 days ago
Playtime with dad involves 75% more dancing to Hall and Oates and 100% more confused looks. Zoom

Playtime with dad involves 75% more dancing to Hall and Oates and 100% more confused looks.

Photo 23
Notes
Posted 1 week ago
The cute. It burns. Zoom

The cute. It burns.

Photo 3
Notes
Posted 1 week ago
If i was playing wordfeud with you, I forfeit. You win! (Taken with instagram) Zoom

If i was playing wordfeud with you, I forfeit. You win! (Taken with instagram)

Video
Posted 1 week ago

Abandon All Ships - Geeving

There is so much about this video/song that is the worst. I get it.

  • I mean, why is Ronnie from The Jersey Shore so angry? (subtle GTL references abound!)
  • Why is he hanging with Justin Bieber’s older brother Kevin Bieber*?
  • Why is there so many shirtless dudes just hanging out juicing their pecs together? Does that usually happen? (I keep my shirt on at all times for everything so I have no idea.)
  •  Why are these lyrics atrocious? (Let me explain!!1! Cause it drives me insane!!11!!)
  • What the hell is this song about? At one point Kevin Bieber** sings “I’d walk through fire just to be with you” and then Ronnie butts in and is all like “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK I JUST CAME TO PARTY!!!11!” while all the little white kids get Kimbo Slice’d by a dude who clearly just rushed in off the street to bust some scrawny asses.

I get all that. But what this song does have going for it is that it is just the right amount of stupid, it is unintentionally funny, and it is too earnest for its own good. You watch and laugh, you restart it to laugh again and then after the third listen you are like, “You know what? I don’t give a fuck. I would just like to have a party.”

Either that or inside I will always be a thirteen year old girl who says she is really into “the scene” but only finds out about new bands from the shirts on the wall at Hot Topic.

*Probably not a real person

**Still probably not a real person

Photo 5
Notes
Posted 1 week ago
Dear Stoner Freebirds Guy, you were obviously testing me but let it be known that I ain’t no bitch. OH GOD I JUST SNEEZED AND ALMOST THREW UP CILANTRO RICE OUT OF MY NOSE. I’m going to curl into a ball on the floor and pray for death. Zoom

Dear Stoner Freebirds Guy, you were obviously testing me but let it be known that I ain’t no bitch. OH GOD I JUST SNEEZED AND ALMOST THREW UP CILANTRO RICE OUT OF MY NOSE.

I’m going to curl into a ball on the floor and pray for death.

Photo 8
Notes
Posted 1 week ago
We placed a to go order at Freebirds and when I showed up, they hadn’t made it yet. The worker told me, “Sorry man. Don’t worry though. I got you.” He then proceeded to make my burrito two ipods tall and the size of a softball around. I love you, Stoner Freebirds Guy. Zoom

We placed a to go order at Freebirds and when I showed up, they hadn’t made it yet. The worker told me, “Sorry man. Don’t worry though. I got you.” He then proceeded to make my burrito two ipods tall and the size of a softball around. I love you, Stoner Freebirds Guy.

Photo 20
Notes
Posted 2 weeks ago
LOOKIT THIS FACE I WANT TO SQUISH IT Zoom

LOOKIT THIS FACE I WANT TO SQUISH IT

Photo 6
Notes
Posted 3 weeks ago
Well that’s unfortunate. Zoom

Well that’s unfortunate.

Photo 13
Notes
Posted 3 weeks ago
This guy came into our clinic today. He did card tricks and then asked me about my underwear. Afterwards, he told me he is available for kid’s birthday parties. No dice, Uncle Touchy. No dice. Zoom

This guy came into our clinic today. He did card tricks and then asked me about my underwear. Afterwards, he told me he is available for kid’s birthday parties. No dice, Uncle Touchy. No dice.